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Serving up lies

Phil Funnie. Serving up dinner... or lies?

The Funnie Five Conspiracy is a theory that Phil Funnie, Doug Funnie's biological father, has been lying to the greater majority of the Doug cast, and most importantly, his son Doug, for well over two decades about his upbringing and whereabouts prior to the start of the series. It's a well-known fact that despite not originally hailing from Bluffington, Phil Funnie has told numerous people, on several occasions, that he grew up in Bluffington, was in the Bluff Scouts, and explicitly claims to have built the "Funnie Four", the fourth kite submitted in a long-running, generational series of entries in the Bluffington Kite Contest, dating as far back as his great grandfather. This is evidenced further by his son, Doug, constructing the "Funnie Five", the successor to Phil Funnie's alleged kite.

The Kite[]

Phil "Flying"

"Insane! My dad had gone Insane!"

During the events of Doug Flies A Kite, Doug tells his father he's been tasked with constructing a kite for the Bluff Scouts. Upon hearing this news, Doug's father Phil immediately loses all control and starts running around the room, apparently in the midst of a psychotic meltdown. He begins running around the Funnie living room, mimicking an aircraft in flight and incessantly screaming about the projected kite, causing Doug's concern for his father's mental state. He acts as though his family has lived in Bluffington for generations, yet we know this isn't true.

Moving To Bluffington

The Funnie family, Phil's mental state rapidly deteriorating.

Immediately following the outburst, Phil concocts a lie to his son about his adolescent years in the Bluff Scouts, thus giving initial credit to this hypothesis. The Funnie family were originally from Bloatsburg. We know that Bluffington is named for the Bluff family name, of which Beebe Bluff is a member. Therefore, it can be logically deduced that the Bluff Scouts originated in Bluffington and share that same family name. A question then arises: how could the "Bluff" Scouts be in Bloatsburg, a completely different city located many miles away? Would Bloatsburg not have it's own corps of scouts, perhaps aptly named the Bloat Scouts?

An affront to Bluffington

Phil Funnie lying to his son about the Funnie family history.


Phil's lie begins to reveal itself to the audience almost immediately. This cannot be dismissed merely as a continuity error. The Funnie Five implies that there have been four previous generations of Funnie family kites present in previous kite flying contests. How is this possible? Phil moved his family to Bluffington for the first time ever in the series pilot, yet Phil's specious claim of kite construction directly contradicts this well-known fact. Phil Funnie continues to present himself as a pathological liar and has the means to falsify information.

Photographer Or Mastermind?[]

Phil, by trade, is a photographer. He is stated to be a professional and would easily be capable of editing both physical and digital media, effectively doctoring proof of his participation in the Bluff Scouts, as well as any extant participation in other regular adolescent activities and events. Additionally, Phil is often described by friends and family as being a "hard-working" individual. He is rarely seen at home with his family, often due to being caught up at work, or working late to support his family. It is not only possible, but likely that Phil may be spending his extended hours in the workplace continually doctoring more "proof" of the inane fallacy that is his formative years in Bluffington.

Unstable Phil[]

Phil Funnie, has on multiple occasions portrayed himself as a lovable buffoon, often displaying ridiculous behavior, presumably to lull suspicious onlookers into a false sense of security, dismissing him as a fool instead of a megalomaniacal sociopath that lies just under the visage of an ordinary working man. He's described as clumsy and awkward on multiple occasions, but how could a man who's "all thumbs" construct an award-winning kite? Wouldn't there need to be some level of dexterity, mechanical expertise, and engineering knowledge required to perform such a task?

Phil is pissed

Phil Funnie struggling to suppress his violent side.

Nearing the conclusion of Doug's Math Problem, after struggling with his performance in Ms. Wingo's mathematics class and hatching several teenage schemes to avoid disciplinary action from his parents, Doug decides to maintain his integrity and present the notice regarding the issue to Phil and Theda Funnie. Upon deciphering the situation, Phil's mood abruptly shifts gears from supportive to irate, and he becomes immediately accusatory towards his son upon learning of Doug's declining grade in mathematics. This violent mood swing may be an indicator of various forms of mental illness with which Mr. Funnie has yet to be diagnosed.

During the events of Doug's Birthday Present, Phil goes so far as to quit his job to open his own photo shop. While going into business for one's self may lead to exciting opportunities and an increased income, the lack of customers to his new studio leads to Phil eventually decreasing the price of family photos to free. This is wildly irresponsible behavior and his complete disregard for his wife and children's well-being eventually leads to Phil becoming increasingly distant from the other members of his household, lying repeatedly to his son about when he will be home.

Doug's Confusion

Doug Funnie unsure of his future.

Some may even accuse Phil of being a poor role model for his son. His frequent absence from his home life has led to Doug's crippling lack of social skills as well as a deflated superego and an overactive imagination. This results in regular psychotic episodes in Phil's son, often the subject of many episodes of Doug, where the title character imagines himself in various scenarios with varied personae, leading to his efforts to try, and often fail, to solve numerous real-life problems. There is even an argument that Phil's influence, or lack thereof, has resulted in his son's unwilling feminization and tendency toward activity outside a heteronormative social structure, despite his obvious infatuation with Patti Mayonnaise.

Support For Phil's Claims[]

Some Skeptical fans may argue that it's possible that Phil had a previous residence in Bluffington during his childhood. This is easily dismissed as completely illogical due to Phil's unfamiliarity with Bluffington in the first episode. Wouldn't Phil know about the Honker Burger? Wouldn't Phil have warned Doug about the hazing ritual involving "catching a Neematoad" to aid his son on his first day in Bluffington? There exist too many contradictions in Phil's behavior for him to have possibly been to Bluffington previously, which immediately discounts the possibility of him ever being in the Bluff Scouts.

One might argue that the Bluff Scouts are a franchise that extends beyond Bluffington, however, the Bluff Scouts are canonically stated to be a group of "young Bluffington men gathered together to do good deeds and go on field trips." Why would the residents of Bluffington not claim the widespread appeal and proliferation of their scouting troup had they reached beyond the borders of their quaint town? Especially to a city like Bloatsburg, a city large enough to support a massive stadium that serves as a suitable venue for a band as popular as The Beets.

Conclusion[]

It's evident that Phil Funnie presents some form of psychosis, visible with even the slightest of scrutiny levied against his character. The reader can infer that the Funnie One-Four kites had been fabricated as part of Phil's pathological lying tendencies and persistent delusions. His family and friends are either actively ignorant to his misdeeds or have been coerced into allowing him the freedom to sustain this degenerate behavior for such a lengthy period of time. Left unchecked, his budding insanity may evolve into something that could become a danger to both his community and himself.

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