- Doug Funnie
- Judy Funnie (debut)
- Phil Funnie (debut)
- Theda Funnie (debut)
- Mr. Bud Dink
- Mrs. Tippi Dink
- Mayor Robert "Bob" White (debut)
- Skeeter Valentine
- Patti Mayonnaise
- Roger Klotz
- Boomer Bledsoe
- Ned Cauphee
- Willie White
The Funnie family has moved into Bluffington from Bloatsburg, and Douglas "Doug" Yancey Funnie, an 11 1/2-year-old kid who loves writing in his journal, worries that he won't fit in. He makes friends with much of the population, including Bud Dink and Skeeter Valentine, and falls for Patti Mayonnaise; he also meets local bully Roger Klotz, who tells him to catch an elusive monster called a Neematoad at Stinsen's Pond to be hailed as a town hero.
Doug Funnie arrives with his family as they prepare to move into Bluffington. As the population sign grows to 20,001, Doug feels that he's the "one".
After his family moves to the house, Mr. Funnie gives Doug some money to find some fast burgers for the family. During the search, Doug and his dog Porkchop come across Mr. Bud Dink, who shows Doug and Porkchop a video filmed by Mayor White telling about the city, the Honker Burger and the mythical Neematoads in Stinsen's Pond. After seeing the Honker Burger, Doug decides to go there, in the hopes he will make friends, and Mr. Dink gives him directions.
On his way to the Honker Burger, Doug imagines everyone laughing at him on stage while the Mayor calls him a loser; when he snaps back into reality, he ends up inadvertently standing in the middle of traffic.
When Doug reaches the Honker Burger, his normal speech is nothing but gibberish to the cashier woman. However, a blue kid known as "Skeeter" (short for "Mosquito") uses Honker Burger lingo to order for Doug, and introduces himself and his friends.
When Doug runs to get his order, he is distracted by the sight of a blonde girl on a bicycle whom he automatically falls for. In his distraction, he slips on a ketchup packet and lands near the suede shoes of local bully Roger Klotz, while the ketchup lands directly on his left shoe. Angered, Roger and his goons take Doug outside to the dumpsters where the tell him he'll be a popular kid if he catches a Neematoad at the pond. Roger tells Doug to meet them at 7:00 AM.
When Doug and Porkchop walk to the pond, Doug sees the blonde girl again, and in this momentary distraction accidentally falls down in the swamp to the feet of Roger. Roger tells him that he must crouch down, wave his wings like a chicken and make a "kaloo-cuckoo" sound (which Roger calls a mating call; practically a chicken dance) if he's to catch a Neematoad. Doug attempts this for a while, but hears Roger and the others laughing at him.
As Doug confronts Roger, the group hears a rumble in the bushes, which turns out to be a real Neematoad! Doug finds out it's merely Porkchop in a bunch of mud, but the others believe it's a real Neematoad. Doug and Porkchop continues to prank Roger until he tells Doug to catch it. When Doug bags Porkchop, Roger decides he'll catch one.
Back at the Honker Burger, Doug tells Skeeter and his friends about Porkchop's prank, but Skeeter believes Porkchop is a real Neematoad. Doug then sees the blonde girl again, who Skeeter says is Patti Mayonnaise. Skeeter opts to introduce Doug to her, but he refuses. After Doug accidentally slips under her table (having slipped on another ketchup packet, which landed in her burger!), Patti's revealed to be quite nice and forgiving after Doug tries to apologize. When Patti asks him if he likes Bluffington, Doug, lovestruck, says he loves it.
At home after Doug washes Porkchop clean, Doug writes in his journal about his new friends and acquaintances, but wonders where Roger is. Roger has been futilely trying to catch a Neematoad, even through nightfall.
- This is the first full-length episode of the series, and the only one in the first season.
- Running Gag - Doug getting distracted by Patti which usually ends up with him on the ground next to someone's feet.
- This is even noticed by Roger. "You're forming some bad habits, Funnie!"
- Error - When Phil plants the mailbox on their property, another mailbox is seen on the exact same spot, but it was missing in the previous scene.
- Error - When Roger and his gang are laughing after Doug found out it was a setup, the camera pans to Doug while he's talking and half of Willie's body appears in the shot, but is not moving even though his laugh is audible.
- A "nematode" is a microscopic organism.
- The song the movers are playing on the piano is a ragtime version of the Doug theme song.
- Roger mentioning the ketchup on his "new suede shoes" is a reference to Blue Suede Shoes, a song by Elvis Presley.
- When Doug realizes he is being set up by Roger, he fantasizes about everyone laughing at him.
- Beebe Bluff appears in this fantasy although this episode takes place before he met her.
- Though this episode was the second to air, it was the first episode produced for the final series as the production code was 101.
- "Doug Can't Dance" was the actual first episode produced being the original pilot, though its production code in the final series was 102a.
Doug Bags a Neematoad • Doug Can't Dance • Doug Gets Busted • Doug's Dog Date • Doug's Big Nose • Doug Takes a Hike • Doug Rocks • Doug Can't Dig It • Doug Didn't Do It • Doug, Mayor for a Day • Doug's No Dummy • Doug's Cool Shoes • Doug to the Rescue • Doug Gets His Ears Lowered • Doug on the Wild Side • Doug's Big Catch • Doug Needs Money • Doug's Runaway Journal • Doug's Doodle • Doug's Cookin' • Doug Loses Dale • Doug is Quailman • Doug Out in Left Field • Doug's Fair Lady • Doug Says Goodbye
Moving into Bluffington
The episode opens with a shot of Phil Funnie viewing a map of Bluffington as he's driving the family car. The camera pans over to Doug Funnie, who is sitting in the back seat, writing down his thoughts in a red journal.
Doug Funnie: Dear Journal, It's me, Doug. Y'know, last week my life was just about perfect. When all of the sudden my dad said the two most feared words in the whole world... "we're moving".
As Doug finishes writing, the car hits a bump, which causes his pen to squirt ink over his page.
Doug: Dad, could you try to dodge the bumps? I'm getting ink blots on my journal.
Phil Funnie: Heh, that's a big 10-4, good buddy.
The camera pans to a "Welcome to Bluffington" billboard on the side, which says current population "19,997".
Phil: Look out, Bluffington, the Funnie family's arrived!
The billboard's population number increases to 20,001.
Doug: "Population 20,001." I guess the 1 is...me.
Episode title tagline: Doug Bags a Neematoad. Doug's foot is stuck in a paint can.