Doug's Great Beet War is the first part of the thirteenth episode of the third season of Nickelodeon's Doug.
- Doug Funnie
- Skeeter Valentine
- Roger Klotz
- Beebe Bluff
- Ned Cauphee
- Boomer Bledsoe
- Willie White
- Connie Benge
- Judy Funnie
- Al & Moo Sleech
When the Bluffington School float for the upcoming Beet parade goes missing, Doug is accused of helping the Moody School students steal it. So Doug and Porkchop must sneak into the Moody School to see for themselves.
Doug's Journal Entry: Dear Journal. Today, Bluffington School declared war, and the commander of chief's first order was to punish the school traitor - me.
The army squad hold Doug hostage and Roger demands them to fire at Doug. The army spray Doug with paint afterward.
The students are working on their float for the impending school parade in the gymnasium. They contrive the idea to make a beet float to beat the Moody School in the float competition. But when Doug and Skeeter arrive to the gymnasium, they find out that their float had been stolen. The students are convinced that the students at Moody School stole their float and declare war on them. But Doug suppresses this, saying that Judy was home last night, so therefore, she couldn't have stolen the float. This, however, prompts the students to accuse Doug of helping the students from Moody School steal their float. Roger is about to demand his gang to spray paint on Doug, but Doug quickly squelches this, telling them that the students of Moody School will torture them, thus making it more difficult to break in. Doug suggests that he can stealthily sneak into the school just to see if they have Mr. Beet, but the students misconstrue his idea and presume that Doug meant that they could destroy their float.
Realizing that he has run out of things to convince the other students otherwise, Doug puts on a disguise, wearing a blue wig, green jacket, army pants, and brown boots, and sneaks into the school to verify the accusation.
Doug's imagination: Doug, shown as a shirtless body builder wearing green army pants and a white headband, is set to sneak inside the Moody School along with Porkchop. Meanwhile, a sniper is shown on the tower and shines the light to the front gate, revealing Doug and Porkchop sneaking through. He orders the other soldiers on the two. Doug, however, makes his way through the obstacles and demolishes the tower as he approaches it. The pieces fall directly on the soldiers.
Doug and Porkchop continue to sneak through the school. It almost works, but a security guard tells him that dogs are prohibited on campus, prompting Doug and Porkchop to make a run for it. They hide in a trash can and overhear Judy and her friends talking, saying that "Cue's new beat will totally change the way people in this town look at floats." Doug realizes that Roger was telling the truth and when he overhears Judy talking about a person named "Cue", he is convinced that Cue is their leader. So he and Porkchop sneak into the school and hear an alarm as they walk inside. They find that they are in the acting room, and Porkchop uses his body language to ask one of the students where the art lab is. The student somehow understands what he means and points to his left. So Doug and Porkchop come across an art lab successfully.
Doug's imagination: The muscular Doug comes across a door and rips it open. He finds the Beet Pride float and encounters an equally muscular Judy, who captures him and brings him to Cue, who appears as a female and orders Judy to send him inside the beet float with boiling liquid inside, where Al and Moo, tied with rope, are about to get dropped in.
Doug and Porkchop walk through the door, only to find that there is a hallway with different doors. So they go through the hallways to locate the stolen beet. While looking through each door, they discover one of the students chasing after them and run for it. Doug loses Porkchop when he hides into room #42 and gets caught by Judy. Her friend Cue (who she mentioned earlier in the episode), who appears as a female wearing overalls, shows up and lets Doug use the phone. Doug's phone call doesn't last, however, when he sees the float being taking away. He dashes after it, thinking it is his friends' stolen beet, only to discover that the Beet Pride float his friends made appears on a wagon, with Skeeter, the Sleech twins, Roger, and his gang on the ride. Doug unwillingly uncovers the sheet, only to find out that the sheet he uncovered is revealed to be a record float titled "beet". Roger tells Doug that Al and Moo had took it home with them to fix it and that it was only a joke, leaving Doug feeling embarrassed and guilty. Skeeter hops off the wagon and cheers him up as the parade continues.
Doug is back in his room thinking of a lesson of the predicament and writes in his journal "War Is Stupid." When he asks Porkchop about the lesson, he remembers that he had left Porkchop at the Moody School, where the dog is showing off his dancing in front of the other students.